Gorge du Verdon, Cannes & Monaco

Ansouis

After leaving the lake we visited a small French village called Ansouis, where we discovered a cat with a white goatee and a tail which was abnormally long. This shit is what cameraphones were made for. I mistakenly had the flash on when I took the photo, which the cat thoroughly disliked, so it pissed off. Soon after, we bumped into a woman who Rach had met at the lake. She introduced us to the two friends she was with, one an Englishman. We spoke briefly, sharing our plans for the coming days and weeks. Before we said goodbye, she recommended about twelve places to visit in the local area, which was far too many. A nice chat, ruined.

Ansouis is lovely - made up of yellow stone buildings and winding streets. Abundant flora, too (plants, not marge).

Gorge du Verdon

Verdon was recommended to me by a mate. And now I recommend it to you. Seriously, go. It's jaw-dropping.

The drive there was amazing in itself, winding up into the mountains, overlooking the massive blue lake which the Gorge feeds into. Either side of the road were giant, jagged rocks jutting up into the sky. We occasionally got glimpses of the green river winding up the Gorge hundreds of feet below; the canoes and boats it was carrying were just tiny dots. As we were driving through all this incredible scenery, Rach turned to me and asked, apropos of nothing, ''so what does Croque Monsieur mean?'' I looked at her. ''Mr Sandwich?'', she asked.

We were staying in our first campsite for three months. It was a really nice one with lots of space. Dozens of trees dotted the wide expanse of grass surrounding the van. It was also very quiet, just us and a couple of others. That's the good points dealt with. Now, onto the bad.

The showers. The showers were the type that run on a timer and turn off automatically. You have to keep pressing the button to keep them on. You know the ones. I'm not a big fan, but I've got no problem with them generally. So long as the timer is reasonable - say 20/30 seconds - it's all good.

These ones stayed on for five seconds. I'm not exaggerating, I timed it. I mean, that is unreasonable isn't it? It's not just me? It'd be nice to have time to look across at the shampoo before having to press the button again. The joke of it is, I know it's to save water, but not a lot of water is getting saved when you have to run the shower for ten minutes before it gets even slightly lukewarm. That's ten minutes of wasted water, not to mention the 120 button presses whilst trying to stand clear of the 5-second blasts of cold water, the bastards.

We strolled into the local village for something to eat and drink. The bar restaurant had QR codes on the tables which you used to access the menu. Fancy. They didn't work. We eventually and reluctantly got handed a hard copy menu. You know, the kind that you can actually hold. It was like being back in the dark ages, but at least we didn't have to guess what was on offer.

Cruisin' in a pedalo

We had a brilliant hour on a pedalo, cruising down the Gorge. It was epic. Just huge. After a while I chucked myself into the water from the pedalo. This was a mistake. The water was the coldest I've ever been in, without a doubt. Mind-numbingly freezing.

Climbing back onto the boat proved slightly more taxing than I'd expected. I had a few discreet-ish failed attempts before I began to consider whether I'd prefer to drown or freeze to death. After a while, Rach got up, I presume with the intention of helping. She shifted over to the edge of the pedalo, placed both her hands on my shoulders, then just sat there pissing herself laughing. With seconds running out and my life ebbing away, I finally managed to pull myself back up, with the help of my legs kicking away furiously under the water. I styled it all out, obviously.

After the pedalo action, we drove high up into the mountains for some awe-inspiring views of the Gorge plains. I was transfixed, not only by the views but by the dozens of eagles soaring over the huge green valleys beneath us. It was a perfect half hour to top off one of the best days of the trip so far. Apart from the nearly drowning bit.

Cannes

We managed to find one of the best parking spots of the trip in Cannes - free, secure, quiet and about 10 seconds walk to the beach. We later discovered in the park4night comments that it is prohibited to sleep in a motorhome overnight there, but I think we probably got away with because we don't actually look like a motorhome from afar. I've added a link at the end of this blog in case you're visiting Cannes and fancy trying it.

The beach had the most amazing, smooth, yellow sand. We wandered the town (which was bigger than either of us expected) in some seriously warm weather. So warm that we decided to stop off at a bar for some drinks, something we hardly ever do.........

After about an hour and a half of happy hour cocktails, we were a bit drunk. Luckily, it was a sports bar, which meant I could watch the basketball on TV while Rach talked to herself about getting married.

The next day, before leaving, we took advantage of the close proximity of the beach and went for a couple of hours of sun and sea. Unfortunately the weather was turning, so we had to cut it short. Still, it was great to lay there and watch the lightning in the distance as the storm rolled in. The sky above us was split right down the middle, sunny blue on the left and moody black on the right.

Cap d'Antibes

As we strolled around the coastline of the picturesque Cap d'Antibes we noticed a crazy looking super yacht, sat on the ocean about half a mile out. It was way bigger than anything else and quite brutal in its design. Just a big, grey thing, with three giant masts jutting up into the sky. Rach looked it up and saw that it was the world-famous Sailing Yacht A, the world's biggest sailing yacht, belonging to a Russian Billionaire and occasionally used by Putin. I secretly wondered if Putin had ever dived off of it then flapped around trying to climb back on while his girlfriend sat there laughing at him. Unlikely.

Monaco

We arrived in La Turbie, a small village about a mile up into the hills above Monaco, in the evening. It was a spot which looked our best bet for visiting Monaco. It was an hour's hike down, which we would attempt the next day. After parking up, we visited a local restaurant for dinner. I'd wanted to sit outside for the view, but Rach preferred to stay inside as apparently 17 degrees is too cold for her legs. Come later in the summer, when we're in the south of Italy, she'll be begging for 17 degrees.

The next day Rach washed her hair outside the van and we put on our non-tramp costumes for a day in Monaco.

We were about twenty minutes into the hike when Rach announced that there was no way she was gonna be walking back. I agreed, it was pretty steep. We finally walked across the 'border' into Monaco, a pair of relieved, sweaty messes.

Monaco was a joy. We explored the town via the best route possible - the F1 track. It was a dream being able to walk the famous street circuit. I especially loved the famous Grand Hotel Hairpin. Rach got rather excited at all the expensive designer stores, which were so expensive they don't even bother with price tags.

We tried to enter the casino but got rejected because we'd forgotten our IDs, so, after a drink, it was back to the track! We strolled through the famous tunnel and came out onto the harbour, where we spent half an hour perving on the yachts. Since we spotted Sailing Yacht A in Antibes we've taken to googling any specimens we particularly like, to find out who it is we need to be jealous of. This time, it was some Libyan businessman, the owner of the Lady Blah Blah. That wasn't really the yacht's name, I'm just struggling to remember it right now.

So much wealth was on show in Monaco and nowhere more so than in the rows and rows of these luxury boats. One day, if we play every single one of our cards right, we might, just might be able to rent another pedalo.

After leaving Monaco we spent the next few days at a peaceful stop in a town called Menton, just five minutes from the Italian border. Next up, Italy. Obviously.

Recommended park up at Gorge du Verdon:

http://park4night.com/lieu/52193/

Recommended park up at Cannes:

http://park4night.com/lieu/168483/