Imperia & Genoa

Italy Pit Stop

Italy was always one of the countries we were looking forward to most on this trip and now, after 11 months and 11 days of travel, and after the total chaos of the coronavirus pandemic, we are finally here. It may not end up being our favourite country (Norway will take some beating) but based on our past experiences here, we fully expect it to be right up there.

Our first stop in Italy was a pit stop. After 15,000 miles we were in dire need of having the filters and some liquids changed. We quickly came across the right street. It must’ve had about 8 garages on it. No exaggeration. We picked one, and 300 euros later the work was done. Far more expensive than we were expecting but what you gonna do? We asked the mechanic about an issue with our 1st gear - it occasionally jumps out while taking off - and he advised it wasn’t a simple issue with the cables as we'd hoped, so we just left it, praying it wouldn’t get worse and we can sort it when we get back to the UK.

Imperia

On our first evening in Italy we stopped at a place next to a playground right on the sea, on the edge of a town called Imperia. There were just a few metres of large flat rocks between the van and the crashing waves. Beautiful. (I don't mean the rocks were the playground - there was an actual playground nearby, with swings and stuff.)

We both sat on the rocks and watched the waves with a can of Mojito as the sun went down. The serenity was broken only once, by a group Whatsapp message. It was my dad, telling me and my brother how he’d been out to the cafe earlier that day. On his walk back home he realised he’d forgotten his sunglasses. He rushed back to the cafe and saw a bloke sat where he’d been sat. He asked him if he’d seen a pair of sunglasses. The man replied, ‘’they’re on your face, mate.’’

Also sat on the rocks was a group of friends chatting and, to our right, a single seagull, gazing out to sea. It was clearly enjoying the view. My phone went again. It was my brother chipping in with five cry-laughing emojis.

The next day, while lying on the rocks listening to a deeply philosophical conversation between two American intellectuals on Youtube, I looked to my right and noticed Rach had blue chemical stains on her arse. They were obviously picked up from sitting on our toilet without the seat down. Sometimes she does this in the dark. Was it my fault for leaving the seat up previously? Or is that her responsibility? I mean, if I was next to use the loo, I would want the seat in the up position, so why should the default be down? Then again, she wees more than me, so perhaps I should always assume she’ll be next in and ensure the seat is left down. Having said that, is it anyone’s fault? Why do we always need to assign blame for everything? After a few seconds’ consideration of all these things, I gave up, took a photo of her bum, circled the blue marks with the phone’s photo editor and sent it to her.

Savona

After three glorious sea-breezy days we got back on the road. Driving east in the dark, Rach noticed some strange little flashing dots hovering above the road in front of us. Lightning bugs. Hundreds of them, glowing in the darkness, always about 3 - 10 metres out in front. So beautiful.

After a night spent in an ugly truck stop area we did some shopping for essentials, then made our way to a sea-side town called Savona. We found a great place right at the end of a pier in the harbour. We’d been there less than five minutes when I discovered it was a spot reserved for people using the harbour. Made sense. I read something that said we could expect to be moved on by an old bloke in a golf buggy (??) if we stayed. Part of me really wanted to stay there just to witness that, but we made the decision to move on and ended up parking at a roadside, under a massive palm tree. It was proper thicc. We spent the evening watching the horrendous Friends With Benefits, Justin Timberlake’s second best film.

IKEA

We were woken up the next morning by the noise of a massive suck lorry (Rach’s words - it was some sort of cleaning truck). Rach very quickly got excited when I told her we could park up at IKEA for the next couple of days, in order to visit Genoa.

I managed to keep Rach below 20 euro in IKEA, which was a major result. We got some new blinds for the two side kitchen windows, Rach finally got the shoe rack she’s been pining for all trip and I got told off twice by the same security guy for not wearing my COVID-19 mask.

Genoa

The walk through the old town neighborhood of Prè into the centre of Genoa was unforgettable. It was dark and grimy but quite beautiful, full of character and atmospheric. It just had an edge to it. There were loads of local characters, hustling and bustling, joking, shouting, hanging around. Rach was slightly on edge but luckily I’m absolutely solid so no harm could ever come to her. Seriously, I loved those streets. It felt like we were in a different world. The narrow lanes are lined with really tall terraces so you almost feel as though you're indoors, as the echoes of the locals bounce off the walls and round the dark corners. The main street which runs through here is called Via di Prè - if you're ever in Genoa, check it out. I'm 95% certain you won't get mugged.

Eventually things opened out into the more touristy parts. There was some sort of rally going on in the main square, which was as loud as it was poorly attended. We sat at a bar and had a drink while listening to the endless stream of shouting emanating from the stage, politely wondering what the hell all the fuss was about.

You’ve got to love Italian bars. They snack you up with every round. And not just a few crisps, serious snack-age. Our record so far is being given four bowls with a single round - olives, crisps, pizza slices and bread. With one drink. Amazing. Although still not as good as Reims, where we got a gratis bucket of chips with each round. That was probably the best day of my life.

We made our way back to the train station through Via di Prè. We stopped at a fast food place, where I got a kebab and Rach got some chicken, which she hated. I dunno, I take her to some lovely spots and all she can do is turn her nose up.

That evening, I caught Rach having a quick kick about with a local Genoan boy at the back of the van. Rach went in goal. That was her position back in her playing days, you see.

Juggler

The next day, it took us an hour to get out of Genoa. A fucking hour. We continue to be unimpressed with our massively expensive sat nav. Most of the time we’re in cities I just turn it off and use Google Maps. Our advice to anyone else would be not to bother spending loads on a sat nav. Just get a cheap tom tom or something. It can’t do any worse. They’re liabilities no matter how much you spend.

During this latest sat nav farce, while stopped at a red light, we suddenly noticed a lad run out into the road and start juggling. A group of girls then hurried round the cars in front. They were trying to collect but clearly not having much luck. When they got to us we gave them what we could - a load of foreign change. To our surprise they were absolutely over the moon with this and ran back over to the lad, buzzing. The lights went green and as we drove past they all gestured their approval at us. It was a real mood lifter.

Hippy banana, wild boar

We stopped at a campsite for the next two evenings. A nice place, near the coast. On the second day we walked down to the beach. It was almost unbearably hot. Rach wore her light all-in-one yellow dress. Her banana costume as I call it. She complained that her hair was getting too long. ‘’I look like a hippy. Like someone with really old parents.’’

We spent a few hours on the beach, then made our way back to the campsite. On the way we saw a wild boar exit the forested hills to the right, on its way to take a drink at the stream. It was quite skinny with a really long snout. A youngster probably. Neither of us had ever seen a wild pig before.

Next up is a place we’ve heard great things about. The five lands of Cinque Terre! Stay tuned, you get me?

Recommended park up for Imperia:

http://park4night.com/lieu/79796/