Verona: Romeo, Juliet & Colin

Carrier

I was pondering the next phase of ‘Operation Proposal’. 

Back in February, I decided I was going to propose. And seeing as Rach has been the only person I’ve seen in over a year, she was obviously going to have to be the person I proposed to. I decided I was going to do it in Venice, our favourite place. I’d bought the ring online and had it delivered to my friend, Rob, who was then going to bring it out to me when we met in Italy in April. That was the plan. Then, of course, SARS-COVID19 got involved. So, four months later, Plan B was launched. This involved meeting Rob and some other friends in Ferrara in the middle of September i.e. in about a week’s time.

Sat in the sun in Corinaldo, Rob’s message came through. Thanks to SARS-COVID19 cases rising once more, he wasn’t going to make this trip either. I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to get my hands on this fucking ring.

My dad (the Colin of the title) was now my only hope. I messaged him and asked if he fancied a long weekend in Italy, cleverly waiting for a positive response to that before hitting him with the real mission. The carefully managed exchange went thus:

Alright dad

Don’t suppose you fancy coming out to see us for a long weekend soon do you?

Been a while

Well i could do yes
Whats the travek bollocks upto

Well Italy is still fine to travel to

Ok lets decide when and where

Well when is up to you

We’re here at the moment [map screenshot]

So we can get anywhere in the next week basically

In North Italy

Well mid to late October?

Too late that dad

We’ll be thinking about coming back then prob

Also sooner is better because Italy could we’ll end up on the quarantine list

well*

Ok im up in Edinburgh next weekend late sept then

Well what about the weekend after then

19th

Or you could swap Edinburgh to the weekend after lol

I’ll let you into a secret dad

Prefer last week tbh

I’m planning on proposing to rach

Secret?

But the ring is in Bham lol

Oh are oh so you want me to be a carrier lol

No I was genuinely gonna ask you anyway

We ended up meeting the carrier on Friday 18th in Verona. I arranged for Rob to drop the ring off at the carrier’s, meaning his part in this tale was now over.

Road to Verona

On the road to Verona, the van was its usual cacophony of bashes, rattles and tings. We almost always forget to either lock the drawers or put a loose item on the work surface away before we move on. After arriving in Verona, we managed to find a place to put the van on the edge of the town centre. It was free from 8 ‘til 8 and on Sundays and 1 euro/hr the rest of the time. Not bad, and a very handy location indeed.

Operation Proposal’s next phase required the secret and safe handing over of the ring. This was of course presuming the carrier hadn’t forgotten to bring it with him. I decided a bag was going to be the best way, as carrying the ring in my pocket would be too noticeable. I had the perfect cover story for the bag too: we’d need it to transfer our valuables from the van to the carrier’s hotel room for the duration of our stay. You can’t be too careful! The carrier could then put the ring in the bag. Perfect.

Warm greeting

We met the carrier outside his hotel at the back of the main old town square. He didn’t notice us until we were within spitting distance of him, at which point we hugged and spat on him. The moment he noticed us was classic Col: he smiled, leaned back in surprise, threw both of his hands in the air and made a sound which I suppose should be spelled ‘aeurrhhhar!’ We then spent an hour catching up while wandering through the medieval streets of Verona.

Verona

I never expected Verona to be quite as amazing as it was. The 1st century Roman amphitheater in the main square is sublime, as is the square itself, and of course the picturesque secondary square, from which the street which contains Juliet’s House leads. We visited the famous 14th century residence with the tiny balcony and also Romeo’s house, which was covered in tasteful graffiti. I actually prefer Verona to Rome. It’s obviously smaller but it's just as beautiful, with the added bonus of being calmer (zero cars) and more intimate.

We spent the majority of the first evening getting drunk at Vittorio Emanuele, our favourite bar on the main square, situated in full view of the incredible amphitheater. At some point during the pleasantries, I started thinking of the carrier as my dad again, which was nice. I hosted a thrillingly epic capital cities quiz between my dad and Rach which went right down to a decider. Rach nicked it, much to the disgust of dad.

‘Slap up meal’

As is his way, my dad promised us a ‘major slap up meal’ on one of the nights. We opted to take advantage of this generous offer on the Saturday evening.

Now, I’m not saying it wasn’t a slap up meal, but I think it's safe to say I've had slappier. Let me quickly talk you through it.

No starters, so we can skip straight onto the mains. My dad spent the majority of the meal complaining about his cold plate. Why they didn’t warm it up for him is a mystery. His hatred for tepid crockery is legendary. He was at least slightly more enthusiastic about his pasta. Halfway through, Rach asked him if he was enjoying it. ‘’I wouldn’t go mad’’, came his response.

Rach had what looked like five balls of purple toothpaste. Gnocchi, apparently.

As we ate our slap up meals, we speculated on which food items offer the restaurant the greatest profit margin. I suggested it was pasta. This seemed to inspire regret in my dad, as he realised he probably hadn’t got the best value out of his meal. This prompted a discussion on the merits of basing your order solely on what is going to give the restaurant the smallest margin, whether you like what you’ve ordered or not. We laughed at what an exceptionally mean attitude that would require, although I am seriously considering using the tactic the next place we go.

Rach asked dad if he liked the look of anything on the dessert menu. Before he could answer, I interjected with ‘’he probably wouldn’t go mad’’. Rach found this explosively hilarious, spraying her mouthful of house red all over the table. After ordering zero desserts, our major slap up meal was over. We paid up and left for the Vittorio Emanuele. On the way I was feeling quietly satisfied that I'd made the best use of dad’s generosity, having munched mussels, steak and sauteed potatoes.

The best cake in the world

I don’t really like cake, but the Yoghurt Cake at Vittorio Emanuele is one of the best things I’ve ever tasted, without a doubt. Rach had ordered it post-slap up, as we sat down for beers and Quiz number 2. It was a seriously stunning piece of baking, and we ordered it a further two times during our stay in Verona. At one point we asked the waiter for the recipe. He went and fetched the manager, who explained it to us. Unfortunately I can’t remember a single ingredient, so just go to Verona and try it. It is highly, highly recommended, even by this non-cake lover.

My dad regaled Rach with a few of the stories he used to amuse me and my brothers with when we were kids. Stories like the one where he crashed into the back of a car with his bike while looking the other way at a nearby building. He'd ended up on the back seat after crashing through the back windscreen. There are a few punchlines in that anecdote, but the greatest has to be the moment my dad walked into a meeting later that same morning to find the driver of the car was in it. Hilarious.

What didn’t get a laugh was my dad’s joke as we approached the bartender in Oreste Cantina Dal Zovo, a great old wine bar tucked away up a side street near Piazza delle Erbe. It was a joke about Coronavirus which went like this:

''Coronavirus.''

Something like that anyway. The point is, it didn't go down as he’d hoped. There was confused silence for a moment, before the barman got a bottle of Corona Extra out of the fridge and placed it on the bar. My dad took it all in his stride and jovially asked if the Corona could be swapped for a red wine.

Happy hour

A special mention has to go to my dad’s hotel cocktail happy hour. We’d gone there before the slap up meal on the Saturday to take advantage of all the great deals they would undoubtedly have on. You can imagine our disappointment when we laid our eyes on the happy hour menu and saw a list of the following four items: three different variations of prosecco for 4.50 euro each and orange juice for 4 euro. That is NOT a cocktail happy hour. 

The hotel itself was great though. It had one of those classic old lifts from the movies - the ones with the mesh walls that you can see through.

Calculus master, crisp eater

On our final day together we saw some more of the sights, including a guy in the street dressed as Tutankhamen, next to which my dad had his photo taken, smiling like an excited child. 

In the evening, we sat in the main square for some more legendary yoghurt cake, drinks and copious amounts of free crisps. The way my dad eats crisps is mental. He grabs a handful, then pushes them in gradually with his palm as he chews through them.

We had a third and final quiz, with the questions this time coming from Rach. Dad was once again on the losing end. This isn’t to say he isn’t extremely intelligent of course. As if to prove the point, he explained to us how he’d taught himself calculus when he was younger, as Rach caringly picked crisp shards off his t-shirt.

It felt very sad when it came time to say goodbye to dad. He didn’t let me keep the fancy black Coronavirus mask he’d lent me for the weekend. I really liked that mask, it fitted my face perfectly and made me look like a ninja.

Seriously though, Dad, I know you’ll be reading this, and I really appreciate what you did for me with the ring. I was in a tricky spot, and you were a life-saver. It goes without saying that Rach and I thoroughly enjoyed the time we all had together in Verona. It was a great laugh and really memorable, as it always is with you. You are a unique character and we love you.

For everyone else, make sure you tune in next time for Operation Proposal’s final stages.

Recommended park up for Verona:

https://park4night.com/en/lieu/95585/

Vittorio Emanuele (best cake in the world):

https://goo.gl/maps/EmyPHiw6nm523rkJ7