Auschwitz & Prague

Day 162

Woke up to Rach asking me what a dinosaur's teeth are called. I'm not joking.

We started the week with a hike up into a beautiful snowy mountain range above Zakopane. It nearly killed Rach. At the summit, she kicked a load of snow in celebration, which smacked me in the side of the head. It was definitely not deliberate apparently. I shouted at her, ''they're called teeth you daft cow!'' Not really.

Went to check out the ice maze at the nearby ski resort but it was just an ice wall and a load of tractors - they were still building it. We decided to go for a drink and a hot dog instead, but the place we found didn't take card, so we moved on again. Nowhere in Poland takes card and most of the cashpoints charge you about 4 quid to access MY OWN MONEY, so make sure you take cash if you're going.

Auschwitz

It's hard to know what to write about the visit to Auschwitz to do it justice. It was cold and foggy on the day of the tour, which added to the heavy atmosphere. At Birkenau, which is much larger than Auschwitz I, you could barely see through the fog to the other end of the camp. The tour guide was excellent, we learnt lots we didn't know and saw some things which were unforgettable, like the display of hundreds of suitcases and luggage the Jews brought with them and left at the stations as they were herded straight into the camps; they all had names, dates of birth and hometowns written on them, as if they were ever going to get them back. It's about as sad a thing as you can ever imagine.

Walking through the gas chamber was just numbing. It's virtually impossible to process it all as you walk through; to comprehend the absolute horrors of the space. You just walk down into the chamber and round to the crematorium area. Then you walk back out.

There was one woman - an American, chewing bubble gum - who was live streaming the whole tour to Facebook, including the gas chamber experience. I couldn't decide what was more respectful, that or the moment she actually blew a bubble.

If you go, make sure to visit Block 27 in the main camp - it has the most incredible and moving exhibition. We went back to it after the official tour finished. You can enter Auschwitz for free, but I'd really recommend paying for the guided tour.

The whole thing was an amazing experience and one which really lends perspective. It makes you realise that your problems are nothing, that you are free, and in that sense, in a strange way, it actually cheers you up.

Czechia

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Czech roads are SO bumpy. It always seems to be the slow lane which is the worst as well AND WE'RE ALWAYS IN THE SLOW LANE. Seriously, it's like driving over corrugated fucking iron. The weirdest thing is, the bumps are always at regular intervals, as though the roads have deliberately been built like that. It's so annoying, especially considering the storage cupboard at the back left of the van has started dropping a bit. It isn't properly fixed to the ceiling anymore - I mean, it is, but it's come a bit loose. And these bumpy journeys are not helping.

Ostrava

We stopped at Ostrava for the evening on the way through to Prague. We had a mulled wine in the main square as a group of local kids sang/shouted Christmassy songs in unison from a stage, then had a few more in a homely little bar where we were royally entertained by what was surely the smallest dog in Europe - a scrawny little thing called Mia. About 12 inches long, she'd bark her head off at anyone who came in then, after two seconds, relax back into a ball on the chair next to us after the punter had totally ignored her and made their way to the bar. She also spent about ten minutes licking my hand. She just wouldn't stop. I eventually pulled my hand away to stroke Rach's face lovingly, like I do. She was having none of it though. Charming.

Prague

We encountered quite a few maniacs on the road on the way to Prague. At one point even a learner was speeding. Once we arrived, we checked in at a great little campsite on the edge of the city. It was perfectly situated - one minute walk to the tram and ten minutes on the tram into the centre.

I'll never forget the moment the main square in Prague came into view. It was genuinely breathtaking. A giant Christmas tree stood above the market against a backdrop of jaw-dropping architecture which surrounded the square. There was a street running away from the square which was lined with trees on either side, all lit up in the dark. It was majestic.

Prague old town is full of intimate narrow streets, which is right up our street. It was very busy, but we didn't mind. We wandered around aimlessly all evening, marvelling at all the different food options which I would be taking advantage of definitely. 

On the subject of food, they have baguette joints in Prague called Baguetterie Boulevard. It's a chain - they're everywhere - but they are top notch. Rach made us eat there every day.

During our stay in Prague we saw all sorts - the Lennon Wall (disappointing), the old astronomical clock in the main square which animates every hour on the hour (always attracts a crowd), the famous Charles Bridge on which we saw a homeless cat (with a homeless man), and a museum of the work of Czech filmaker, Karel Zeman (where we did a bit of 'acting' ourselves). We had cocktails in a swanky pretentious bar where you weren't allowed to take photos (I took a photo).

Rach had a Thai massage while I sat in an Irish pub with a Czech pint, playing a Brazilian at chess online while overhearing a nearby conversation between two Americans about music. I say conversation, it was more a shouting competition. Loud motherfuckers.

The second ugliest building in the world

On our last day in Prague we wandered further out into the outskirts and accidentally came across the famous Zizkov Television tower. From a distance we thought it was just some random, tall, odd looking tower, but as we got closer we saw just how bizarre it was. What made it even more so were about ten giant black crawling babies attached all over its surface. Turned out they were added as part of a temporary art installation by a Czech artist which was eventually made permanent. There were three more crawling babies installed a couple of miles away in Kampa Park, but they were bronze.

After a bit of Googling, we saw that there was an observation deck at the top of the tower so we paid to go up for some amazing 360 degree views of the city below.

We later found out that the building is officially the second ugliest in the world. I dunno, I quite liked it. There's a picture below, see what you think. Oh, and the ugliest building in the world? The Morris A. Mechanic Theater in Baltimore, apparently.

After the tower we made our way back into the old town for one last wander around the winding stony streets. Rach finished her time in wintry Prague with a nice refreshing black ice cream. I wanted a bronze one but there was no way I was walking all the way back to Kampa Park.

Recommended campsite for Prague:

http://park4night.com/lieu/114442/